Fire Your Boss…Before You Have a Tantrum

We all like to have it.  To be “in it.”  When we feel like it’s getting away from us, we start grasping at any small way we think we can regain it in another area of our lives.  When we don’t have it, anger results.

Control.

It starts at such a young age too.  The top parenting advice you’ll find for toddlers is to give them choices.  This gives them a sense of control, thus {hopefully} avoiding the power struggle that inevitably spirals into an irrational breakdown.

As I await the birth of my third child, I couldn’t be farther from this concept known as “control.”  This is a challenge.  It makes me uncomfortable {and not just physically, oof.}  Babies pick their own birth dates – or they should – and so I am required to give up my control.

 

no_baby_yet

It really is a beautiful lesson built into this phase of life, even if I must remind myself of the benefits daily, to stop myself running out and buying a liter of castor oil.

Where are you holding onto control in your life?  My friend Cris Linnares had some great advice recently: “Fire your boss.  Give the control to God.”  Do YOU need to fire your boss?

It’s such a fine line, too.  We should be positive, focused on a great outcome.  But don’t be attached to the outcome.  Be open to whatever comes our way.

It really is a phenomenon, but it works.  By visualizing only one outcome – the positive one – you increase the chances of it happening.  Yet, by making sure you are emotionally detached from the outcome – “don’t get your heart set on it” – you also increase the chances that the most beneficial outcome will occur, and GREATLY increase the chances that you will be happy with the result.

When we become emotionally attached to the outcome, we seek control.  We constrict.  We find ourselves doing “whatever it takes.”  We end up like a toddler in a tantrum when things turn out differently than we wanted, and it’s easy to see why.  We’ve built it up in our heads that the ONLY possible way we can be happy is if we get our way.

Instead, we should be letting go.  Opening up.  Que sera, sera.  We should give it what we can, and give the rest to God.  He knows what’s best, after all.

 

control_maraboli

I am envisioning only a positive, natural, easy birthing experience with a healthy mama and baby.  I am envisioning it happening any. day. now. {Did you hear me, uterus??  Any day now would be just fine.}

But I’m not tied up in that being the only possible POSITIVE outcome.  God, my body, and this baby might have other ideas.  And if they do, I am open to whatever blessings will come from them.

I have a feeling you might also like:

When I am laughing with my daughter on the floor as she pretends I’m her baby, watching the joy unfold on my middle son’s face as I “fly” him on my feet, or feeling the comfort of my oldest son’s arms around me at bedtime, sometimes my mind will think, “I should take a picture of this.”

“You’re not doing what God wants you to do!”

I froze on the bathroom rug. I put down the toothbrush and took a deep breath. My thoughts immediately tackled the question head on, “AM I doing what God wants me to do in this moment? Would he want me to yell at my son and hold him down while I scrape tiny bristles over his teeth?”

A big part of my work is helping women to discover their God-given purpose. In one sense, we all have the same purpose in this life: to love. But how does that look in your life specifically? How are you meant to live that love in action? Start here.